Moving Forward

I was feeling inspired so decided to write - propelled by a surmounting joy and love for the Lord after a powerful study on the resurrection in my weekly small group where we've been examining the divinity and Lordship of Christ ("Excellencies of Christ" - IHoP). Additionally, one of my best friends is leaving on Friday to be a missionary in China for a year - she's been preparing for this, or rather the Lord has been providing and refining her for this - since last December. God has reminded me of many of the Truths He put on my heart before I left for Israel as I've watched her get ready to leave:

Abraham was called out of Chaldea - He had to leave his home, friends, and country, travel unfamiliar paths, and press on in unwavering obedience in order to receive the promises of God. He was called to go forth with a heart confident in the Lord, by faith, and so he began moving forward. This has echoed within me since I applied to MSIH - a calling that is lofty and noble on paper - but ridiculous to carry out when it comes down to it.

Yet Abraham walked forward, and now here I am trying to do the same. Speaking collectively, you realize you're not 'lofty or noble' when you're aching for the first thousand steps because you just want to go back to home, friends, and country. Yet there's that unwavering obedience, not because you want a reward, but because you've reached this point where you trust God more than you trust yourself. A knowledge of the right order for life takes hold - laid out in the Scriptures - and that becomes the promise all in itself.

And tonight I reached the point beyond the unwavering obedience where faith, hope, and vision interceed - where Abraham looks forward to his promised inheritance in the land - a picture of the New Jerusalem beyond the confines of the world as he knew it. I don't know how long my vision will be clear. It usually only lasts a short time, and then I dive head first back into the battle, scrambling to barely see the step directly in front of me.

So here's what I see: I am here in Israel for an extraordinary reason. But just as with most difficult decisions, it isn't turning out to be the reason I initially thought it would be. I could have gone to pubic health school or reapplied to medical school in the States (again). Many times I think I might be receiving a better education by the world's standards if this were the case. And that would have been fine and God would have been there. But when I was fasting and praying about whether to be here, the Lord kept giving me the option to choose. And He kept reminding me of my prayers over the last two years - that I had been deeply restless, at times defeated, and desiring to pursue His heart, to know Him in new, powerful ways, and to be used by Him (preferably abroad in the context of Isaiah 58). He reminded me how He moved my spirit by the words of "You Said" from Hillsong: "You said ask and I'll give the nations to you - O Lord, that's the cry of my heart! Distant shores and islands will see your Light!" He reminded me that I'd been talking for a long time about doing things, but was having a hard time finding a place to act on them.

Be careful what you pray for and the thoughts you hold captive to the Lord. ;) God knows if I were anywhere else in the world, I would not meet Him in the way that I am. I can see, already, that in the past 6 months I've learned more about Jesus, more about His Word, more about His promises and plans for the future, than I ever, ever would have in the States. It's a different context of course, and a part of me still wishes I could be home with my family or in the company of my best friends, but I'm caught in that precious moment of clarity in which I wouldn't trade the friendship & love & relationship I have gained with the Lord for anything.

After all, when everything is said and done, what is lasting, pure and true? What sustains you - and what will you have when you come to the end?