Hold My Heart

It has been an exhausting week - a load of presentations, papers, math homework (am I in high school?), meetings, and now an upcoming test and final to prepare for in the next two weeks.

But today I got to hold a hypertrophied heart in my hands! There was a HEART. In my HANDS.

So I thought this 1st deserved its own post. I've never taken anatomy or worked with cadavers so I feel like an eager, starstruck child whenever we have the opportunity to "really see medicine". Our pathology course is taught by an ER Cardiothoracic surgeon with a dual concentration in Pathology. He is FANTASTIC - an excellent teacher (rare) and full of interesting stories from his years of work.

And I actually felt like a medical student today for our hour of lab. Not to mention the fact that I was holding a heart, examining its thick muscular walls and valves and vessels. However, I was also struck by the reality that I am able to learn and examine the pathology of the gross anatomy because it tragically killed someone. One of the specimens was a section of a child's heart with a congential defect...I may never adjust to the wave of sadness for the child's short life and the fresh hole in the lives of the parents.

I hope I never adjust though - I hope that my HOPE (Christ) preserves my compassion, wonder, and heartache for brokenness. Because as much as it is still a part of me, I can already see how students burn out and lose themselves in the tsunami of information to master. There are times when I search my mind and heart to find remnants of passion where there used to be an overflow. My goal this semester is to work hard and to keep my eyes fixed on the face of the child - you know, the one you see on TV commercials or pamphlets asking you to sponsor a child - feed the hungry - defend the oppressed - uphold the poor. Because it's in that face of innocent suffering that I see the LORD's heart hungering for justice and healing, that I feel my own heart begin to ignite and stir in renewed mission.

Book OVERLOAD - and the best watermelon I've ever tasted.