I Still Believe

I often sense the struggles, darkness and impossible situations burdening the lives & hearts of friends, family, classmates, and people around me- and all I want to do is reach in and 'fix' it - the doctor instinct in me perhaps. This life is ridden with stretches of confusion, darkness, doubt, and difficulty. Much of the time, it seems these periods dominate the light-hearted summer days, especially when we're caught right in the middle. I shudder, understanding despair, when I imagine walking through these periods of life without the hope and promise of the Lord.

Without Jesus, His grace, presence and intercession, I truly would love to know what pulls others through the midnights in our lives? The song below is one by my favorite artist (especially in concert), Jeremy Camp. The words echo the very foundation and hope found in Jesus when brokenness, sorrow and pain threaten to suffocate the clarity of joy. What a testimony to proclaim "I still believe" when everything is falling apart, when there is no physical proof that God is there, and when doubts cloud out the feeling that God even exists, let alone is actively present and holding all things for us in His control.

My constant prayer is for you, wherever you are and whatever you believe in, because my heart breaks for anyone faced with any sort of struggles, sickness, depression, tragedy or despair. Though the world no longer finds a consensus on most aspects of life, the death of a loved one or destruction of the helpless - whether from a natural disaster or man's injustice - still draws a deep sense that something is out of order about these things. That maybe an appropriate reaction would be to mourn them and reach out of ourselves to offer solidarity and support.

Have you ever wondered why that's the case?

I believe the answer lies in a plan that has been in place from the beginning of Creation and continues to this day. ["But according to His promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells." (2 Peter 3:13)]
An answer that has always and will always point to the Messiah, Jesus Christ,

"Again the high priest asked him [Jesus], “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?” And Jesus said, 'I am, and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven'" ...
"And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved" (Mark 14:61, Acts 4:12),

to a day when

"The creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.” (Romans 8:21)

So again, my prayer is for you, trusting that when I don't have the knowledge or understanding of what you're going through or where you are, the Holy Spirit intercedes on your behalf for me. And most especially if you have not found Jesus to be who He says He is, if you cannot or do not want to say that you believe as the words below express, I deeply pray that you would allow yourself to consider these things: wrestle with them, question, wonder - and that when you find yourself in the middle of a dark night, you would find Him to be real, true and the only One who can offer life and peace.

********

Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
seems I don't know where to start
but it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain
from every fingertip, washing away my pain

[Chorus:]
I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your holy word
even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind
with promises I still seem to bear
even when answers slowly unwind
it's my heart I see You prepare
but its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
from every finger tip, washing away my pain

The only place I can go is into your arms
where I throw to you my feeble prayers
in brokeness I can see that this was your will for me
Help me to know You are near