Set the World on Fire

Tonight someone asked me what my aspirations and dreams for my 25th year are (24th birthday...for real??) as a few of my classmates had surprised me with a little pre-shabbat-birthday get-together. :)

Before I answer that, my hiatus from the "blogosphere" (ha) (a) is something only I've noticed or care about since I use this as a faux-journal of my time and thoughts throughout my little four year adventure, and (b) has been an extraordinary collage of people and places.

To prove to myself that the last 3 months did, in fact, exist, I've recorded a month-to-month recap below:

May

After we finished our 1st year exams (Epidemiology, Pathology, Physiology, Pharmacology, Genetics, Microbiology, Anthropology, Hebrew), I took off with Nilly, Alma, Aubrey, and Sarah to Barcelona! Aside from some rather stressful travel mishaps at the beginning, it turned out to be a true treat - and a beautiful one at that. The Gaudi architecture is beyond anything I've ever seen (see the picture of his cathedral...it has been under construction for about 100 years, burned down once, and still is only 1/2 finished!). I explored Picasso's early works, enjoyed fresh seafood, tapas & sangria at 10pm like a true Spaniard, clutched my purse like my life depended on it (the #1 city in the world for pick-pocketing), lounged with a book on the (sometimes nude...whoa) beach, and my favorite - toured the city via bike! I will say though that this trip was a cure for my wanderlust. I don't care how exquisite the place is if I don't have the company to go with it. I left longing for a companion - sort of over travelling by myself everywhere.

June

Hematology and Endocrinology, woot! Loved Heme and discovered a whole new meaning to: "For the life of every creature is its blood: its blood is its life." (Leviticus 17)

This year is going to be so exciting (if I found Bio 101 a fascinating revelation of creation). I'm overcome by chills thinking about the synchronicity + harmony within our bodies and the Lord's intricate design. I mean, SERIOUSLY. It BLOWS my mind. As we're learning Cardiology, trying to measure exactly what creates just one single beat, our own hearts keep on beating. While we're struggling to understand one intellectual detail, it's all just happening like it's nothing. But clearly it's something pretty remarkable, because even after 18 years of school I'm finding it difficult to grasp the fullness of the concept!  GOD IS SO BRILLIANT. ;)

July

-Laura (then Del Giorno) Lindstrom's wedding on July 2nd!
My roommate from college, Alexa, picked me up in Newark from my Tel Aviv flight - and she patiently listened to me try to babble out my excitement amidst the jet lag and emotional overload.  Laura has been dreaming about her wedding day since I met her - for our friends' 20th birthdays she made a poster of wedding magazine cut-outs depicting our future weddings. It was such a gift to stand witness to the commitment she made before Robert and the Lord and spend the weekend with my close friends!

-Then it was off to Denver in time for the 4th. I kept saying, "God bless America!" It was SO good to be back in the States as I was BEYOND ready to get out of Beer Sheva after 11 months of studying there. And my family is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has ever given me on this earth. So any time spent with them is precious. I also worked part time at UCD with Children's Outcomes Research on my old projects covering national immunization practices of physicians and oral health in the underserved, Hispanic Denver neighborhoods. I love the people at work and have been blessed by their devotion to my career aspirations, so it was a gift to return for such a short time. I also found out I was published in 2 journals! Yay for the fruit of research labor!

-Glenwood Springs: Visited my Aunt Gretchen and Uncle Jim, white-water rafting, mountain biking, hot-springing, re-committing my life to river guiding in the summer and ski patrolling in the winter...(I kind of wish, gah I love the mountains. Nothing like a desert to make you appreciate what you no longer have.)

-Seattle, WA: Can I just say, I was SO spoiled by friendships this summer! All of my crying out to the Lord about loneliness over the last year was paid back 100-fold this summer. In Seattle I spent some much, much, much needed time with two of my best friends and my Uncle Paul. Happiness hits me like a train on a track just remembering that time happened. One of those girls has seen me through some of my darkest and some of my lightest times in life - she weeps when I weep and rejoices when I rejoice, and the other brings a laughter and silliness to any day while simultaneously challenging my perspective (in the best way). And my Uncle is someone I've adored since I was born and prayed for more than anyone in this world since I was ten. So yes, you can just imagine how fulfilling it was to be in their presence for a solid week.

-St. Louis, MO: Stephen and Britteny Hess' wedding!!! I know these weddings weren't meant to be my own personal reunions, but amidst the joy of celebrating their day, it sure felt like a college re-run! Steve's face will also forever be the face of the groom that I hold others' to :) - he was the epitome of awe&joy&wonder as Brit walked down the aisle, stood before him, and promised herself to him. I don't think I've smiled or laughed that much since the trip my friends and I took to Bradenton, FL our Senior year. I would play it over and over again if I had my way. I felt so loved and cherished, and it reminded me in a way that I'd unfortunately forgotten for a long time of the way the Lord loves and cherishes me - completely out of grace - but sure and real nonetheless.

All of my friends and family reminded me of that this summer, but there was something about the evening that finally broke me and into my heart. I can tell, because it still brings me to tears to think about the goodbyes I had to say to these people that have grown up with me and helped shape me into the person I am afterwards. [Thank you all, and thank you Hillary for being there, as always, to receive the flood that so unexpectedly hit :) ]

August

-Broadmoor: Family Vaca! As a last hoorah before we took my brother to his freshman year of college at CU-Boulder (I swear he should still be 6), we all went up to the Springs for hiking and pool time and a great weekend! For the 50th time, I just love my family, disfunction and all. ;)

-Denver Rescue Mission 5K around Wash Park
(And last year I ran in the Nike Tel Aviv Night Run on 10.10.10! I mainly did it for the shirt if I'm being honest...that was kind of the same motivation behind this run...now I can rep CO while running around Beer Sheva!)

-Back to Israel. FAKE OUT. Rocket strikes postponed my trip by a few days, so I ended up arriving a week late into classes. Though the rest of my classmates managed to get back here before me, I was secretly thankful for the extra week to study Anatomy of the Thorax in the comforts of my siren-free home. But most especially for the opportunity to prepare my heart for the year to come. For those of you that don't know, 2nd year is devoted to the USMLE Boards (July 2012) - MCAT times about 1000. Academics-aside, my summer was so full of everything under the sun EXCEPT seriously-needed time to process life with the Lord. It came in spurts and intensely during conversations with fam/friends, but I'd never really given HIM the chance to speak/me to listen.


And so we arrive at September 2nd!

I honestly don't know what my aspirations are for the year. Sure I can say a lot of things that sound good and "right", but last year was such an unexpectedly difficult and different year that I don't know what to say for this year. Being here has taken me so far beyond the confines of comfort + familiar and toward the limitless spectrum of the Lord's work. I've resisted and wrestled with the unknown and uncomfortable the entire time, exhausted myself trying to manage it on my own, wondered at the very foundation my life is built upon, and returned to do it all over again. But life isn't a game of Chutes and Ladders - and this week I am walking "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6)

What more can I say then?  My only hope for this year is that it would be for Jesus. All things at all times. Following Him is, after all, why I came to Israel. And that for every time I fail to do this - daily - He would be the one there to remind me of it all over again.

I want to set the world on fire until it's burning bright for You. It's everything I desire, can I be the one you use?
Lord with You, there's nothing I cannot do: My heart, my feet, my life, my love, Lord use me.
I want to set the world on fire.

Birthday Surprise!  (Courtesy of: Jono Panitch)