She Said YES

There is nothing lonelier, initially, than moving abroad in a step of faith by yourself...with no prior exposure to the culture, without knowing a soul, and without a means of communication for the first day or so. Nothing. I felt that loneliness to the greatest depths of my being and wondered if I'd heard the Lord correctly in making my decision to go to Israel. Did I simply overhear His inquiry: "Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?" and impulsively jump to declare, "Here I am, Send me!" (Isaiah 6:8).

But it's in that place, in time, where the Lord shows you just how preoccupied and dependent on the known we are to be our strength, our companion, our deliverer. And it's in that place where we become engrossed with our grace-given communion with Christ. Where we come to understand the semantics behind this "relationship" we hear repeated from pulpit to street corner. WOW. It's marvelous! I missed it, ironically, while I was in the 'known' bubble of the States last semester. Missed the lonely echoes that would bring me before His feet in heart-wrenching, pained cries. Missed the urgency of living for Him - in this land where dwells the spiritual Israel's history and the world's collective futures - to accomplish His work most of all.

I wanted to write this as a parting blog, but was too enamored with the goodness of the Lord to wait to share it.  Jesus is still working in me, amazingly in spite of everything, and this year has been rough (blog to follow). But one of the things I've learned particularly in the last year and must remind myself constantly (especially today, Match Day!) is this:

Saying YES to the Lord, and walking into His everlasting promises - those promises that extend far beyond ourselves & our circumstances into the purpose of our creation and the gospel partnership He has brought about through His resurrection. Walking into those promises is evermore rewarding and transformative than battling against Him for fleeting moments of comfort and pleasure.

Saying yes to the Lord is the single best thing you can do with your life.
Saying yes to the Lord opens your heart to hear Him, to see Him, to experience the fullness of life found in Him, His grace, His justice and mercy. To be filled with His power, to walk in the very present reality of Jesus.

The question I've harped on over and over: "Do I truly consider the profound reality of the presence of Jesus on a daily basis?" (Oswald Chambers) is a question that has haunted me this year, drawing me to the most devastatingly raw point in my faith I've ever been. It is the question that draws a line in the sand and says, "Who is YOUR master?", "Are you for God or against Him?", "What do YOU really believe...or do you even know??". 

Saying no to the Lord, if you have not committed yourself to Him, is easy because it requires no immediate cost, no change, though an emptiness may find you in quiet moments or times of suffering.
Saying no the Lord as a believer is obvious at first - you feel the movement of poignant question and discipline from the Spirit of God. If you continue to say no or ignore His quiet whispering sword of Truth, it eventually wears on you. And in the end, it tears you from the knowledge and assurance of faith your obedient, repentant surrender first brought. It dulls your spirit and your joy, it breaks His heart, and it confuses your reality until you feel you are blind, deaf, and searching for God all over again.

So this journey, these past years, more than anything else have exposed the intensely waging spiritual war against the "YES" believers in Jesus can say TO Jesus - both individually and together in community. This YES brings the full power of His overcoming presence to the earth and vanquishes the schemes of the broken, despairing world we live in for the moment (Romans 8:19-22). 

I left for Israel because I told God I'd give anything to simply be with Him, where He is, and where He wants me to be. And He told me that He'd be wherever I went (Joshua 1:9), that I simply needed to GIVE MY LIFE TO FOLLOW EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN. And what I heard most was that Israel would be a place to uncover that belief in new, profound, challenging ways. To say YES and to receive, in turn, an abundance of life blessing from Him.


[Fittingly, after I wrote this post I found out I'll be headed to Cleveland's Case Western/Rainbow Babies hospital for my 3 year Pediatric residency. I laughed a bit to myself because it was the only place I ranked where I do not have family or friends, nor do I know the city. So thankful that the Lord hasn't finished with me yet and is sovereign above my interpretation of my desires: "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps" (Proverbs 16:9). This will be an incredible opportunity at an incredible program and I truly can't wait to see the Lord at work there the way He has been in my life here in Israel!!]